Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
