Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
