I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
