Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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