Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
