so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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