What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
We have so much sex to catch up on
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
