Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
