I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
