he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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