trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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