saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
