i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
