I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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