Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Randomize
