4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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