how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
