How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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