can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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