Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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