sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
