Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
