with your own penis?
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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