well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
cat food counts as protein by the way
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
