Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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