New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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