I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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