I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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