Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
