using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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