We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
