hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
