Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
