i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
