Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
