Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
