Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
