It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I can't turn off my feet"
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
