ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
