I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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