Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
