My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
