Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
