OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I skipped work to stalk him.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
