i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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