My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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