That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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