bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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