i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
