I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
We are two peas in an std pod
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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