I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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